PIE RATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
8th November, 2013
Rasta don’t believe inna good food, man. Rasta know. Well dem do something cookin’ thru these people out yah try kill wi off, wi couldn’t do right. Because dem people out yah too simple wit dem bad pies. Now man, dem ting yah mek mi vex. I fi goh inna supahmahket, goh seh these things again. Or say these things in dem mall. Carribean is a little nice great place fi pies. Mi really love dem islands, because mi walk plenty market and plenty good food. Right now I&I ah goh cook dem pie and just gwaan eat some until den. – Bob Malaki, Author
“Well, those were wise words from Bob, telling everyone to ‘Buy my pie-guide’. Isn’t that right, my grassy, mop-headed friend? He’s really something…” – Simon’s Penguin Publishing.
“Sacre bleu! If zees isn’t ze ultimate handbook for le petit Aloo pie and ze patty, I don’t know what ees. I ‘ave never seen so much butter on a pie since ma grandmere thought butter was le custard. Deux etoiles for ze little shop. Two stars well-earned!” – Simon Chaunt, MOF Chairman.
“Well, I wanted to get dreadlocks after I tried the Aloof pie recommended by this guide, since we’re going to be 100% true Carribeans and all. Mary’s not too sure about it though, but I told her, ‘Make up your mind. either we JamaiCAN or we DominiCAN’T.’ Right?” – Kenny Bodgers, tourist.
“The government is doing everything it can to manage pie rates. We are currently employing new law-enforcement measures to curb this rising threat and a conference will be held shortly with nearby island administrations in order to address this issue. In the meantime, we suggest that the citizens report any sign of this illegal trade immediately. We thank you for your cooperation.” – Minister of Dominidad Republic.