29th November, 2013
“There’s no *bleep*-ing better runway than the *bleep* facility hallway. When it comes to styling a *bleep* straight jacket, bling out your *bleep* buckles and keep those eyes *bleep*-ing fierce.” – Jean Galliano, designer, Patient no. 565.
“This book isn’t just for the institutionalised. Most of my concert looks are based on this. Nothing beats the chapter on “Hair Care after an Anti-Social Manic Anxiety Scare”, that takes your looks from padded room to Prada in an instant.” – Lady G.
“After many treatments, we’ve finally had a breakthrough. This book has curbed our suicide rates dramatically and unearthed the stylist’s flair in our patients. We’ve got our obsessive-compulsives into colour blocking, bipolars into mixing textures and the depression cases looking pout-perfect in Lancôme lipstick. What could be better?” – Doctor Roche, Clinical Director.
“I have two patients standing before me but I only have one clipboard in my hand, and this clipboard represents the one who will be in the running forAsylum’s Next Top Model Patient. The one who isn’t called must immediately return to solitary confinement. And the winner is…Tyra. Wait, who’s that again?” – Tyra B. Patient no. 223.